that look.

i caught him giving me that look the other night. the look a boy gives to a girl when he for a moment seems to realize all over again that she is something pretty.

how i love that look on his face.

i am not myself these days. if there is any word as close to how i am behaving, it is "depression". it is more than just my ordinary melancholy. it has to be the late period. i am paranoid. the pure idea of existence scares me. i am afraid of everything unseen and unhappened. i keep thinking of all the what-ifs and it literally drives me insane. i feel like i am a trapped soul in this earthly world, and that i am going nowhere and that no matter where i go i am going to end up the same. i am afraid of the future. i lack motivation to act. i have to be constantly telling myself to do things. i have lost the drive.

what is happening to me? i hope it's just hormones.

i am in love with the voice of that PlayRadioPlay vocal and it depresses me just as much, he sings too much of a pretty song. :/

by the way, last week i was all funny and romantic and positive and passionate, this week i regret having done one of the silliest things i could ever do, now i am just waiting for the consequences...... i hope it won't freak him out. *fingercrossed*

and i will have to try acting sane again.