magical thinking

we need some magical thinking to get us through life. sometimes my thinking becomes too magical when i slow down and take a look at my surroundings it gives me a major shock realising how bad things can actually be. i am often afraid of losing that point of balance. what if i go too far without knowing? what if my thinking carries me away?

but i have only got this one life to test things out. if i succeed i succeed, if i fail i fail. it is just this one life and this one chance and this one shot.

i don't want to have to look back one day and think about all the "what ifs". i want to make sure that i have tried my best, and hard enough, and no matter what happens next it wouldn't be my fault not having succeeded, that it would be merely fate, as i out of all things already did my best.

i give my heart to everything i do, and to everyone i love. even my soul is naked to a certain extent. but there is this little thing - once i lose heart i can hardly bring myself to give again - although i do not lose heart easily, i have this magical rebound power that allows me to go through the same thing more than once (luckily.)

may this magical thinking stay with me. (lately i am mostly inspired by vanessa carlton.)