2016年11月21日 星期一

last year tomorrow

i lost my sa. it didn't hit me before tonight. suddenly everything came rushing back. overwhelming. i don't know how i lost her and for what -- old age, maybe? suddenly she was not eating. suddenly she was sick. and dying. and suddenly she died. we went all the way from taipo to sai ying pun that day. and she died right before we arrived at the clinic. she probably didn't want to go there. it was my idea. it was a bad idea. we should have stayed home together. all of us. why didn't i think better?

a year went by. things happened. bad things. good things. we moved. and i moved out now. i moved back, staying close to where we used to live. i go home to see mom everyday and i come back here.

the only comfort i have is from thinking that she is now at a better place.

i miss her so, so much.

maybe she is with dad now and they are both happy and free.