how i feel

i don't know how i feel exactly, but my feelings are vivid. surrounding me is an airy presence of emptiness and loneliness. i want to talk about it but i am tired of people not being able to understand. my world has narrowed itself down to my very own existence. for the first time i realize that i am kind of friendless.

my loss

it was my gain. and it is now my loss. the 15 years together have been a true blessing. the unconditional love, the precious company, and the total trust and loyalty.

my graceful sasa. our loving baby sister.

sunday was her funeral. she slept so sweetly in her casket. we took her ashes, rowed to the sea, and let her go.

run now, sasa, be free, enjoy.

you will always be a wonder to me. your grace i will keep, as a treasured part of my being.

i love you.

12.2000-22.11.2015

my graceful sasa passed away. this heartache won't go away and I have no idea how to make life not empty again. she was the toughest and the coolest she fought it till the end. I love her so much I hope she will come see me in my dreams tonight. I am grateful for the 15 years together and I wish so much to hug her and see her again. I think a part of me is dying. The whole family misses her. Mom keeps forgetting that she is gone... It's too sad...