seriously. at least here, as i don't know if people are reading because they like what i write or they care about me, or because they want gossips or things to make fun of. i did not care so much about it before, but now i do, i should not, but somehow i do. unless i am to make fun on purpose, which i seldom do, most things written here are not supposed to be funny. sometimes, i think if one could read my mind, or just feel the way i feel, one should be in tears.
i find it funny that people stare at the scars on my leg more often than i expect them to be stared at. at first i was almost convinced that it was only because i thought people were staring. but i am not exactly stupid enough to not be able to tell whether people are staring or not. sometimes i even forgot that the scars were still there, until i followed someone's gaze all the way to where they were, and then i was reminded of their existence.
i think my period is due in one week, since i am feeling my hormones again. they run through my body like some annoying little elves. why does a woman have to go through the same pain every month? it is not fair. why am i always complaining about it? i am annoyed.
oh well. but everything written here expires the second i leave here. i will always write about the same thing again if i happen to feel the same again. i do not mind. what i do not like is the me today being judged by how i was yesterday. what happened, happened, what is gone, is gone. you get to be good at moving on.
lately i feel really bad about not being able to see my dad again. i know. it's an old story now. but some stories break your heart constantly. maybe it's because of the mid-autumn festival, i have not yet met a person as crazy about mooncakes as he did. hey! old man! i miss you. :/
the only comfort is that i know he will always be proud of me. or that i am good enough to make him as proud as a father can be.
i find it funny that people stare at the scars on my leg more often than i expect them to be stared at. at first i was almost convinced that it was only because i thought people were staring. but i am not exactly stupid enough to not be able to tell whether people are staring or not. sometimes i even forgot that the scars were still there, until i followed someone's gaze all the way to where they were, and then i was reminded of their existence.
i think my period is due in one week, since i am feeling my hormones again. they run through my body like some annoying little elves. why does a woman have to go through the same pain every month? it is not fair. why am i always complaining about it? i am annoyed.
oh well. but everything written here expires the second i leave here. i will always write about the same thing again if i happen to feel the same again. i do not mind. what i do not like is the me today being judged by how i was yesterday. what happened, happened, what is gone, is gone. you get to be good at moving on.
lately i feel really bad about not being able to see my dad again. i know. it's an old story now. but some stories break your heart constantly. maybe it's because of the mid-autumn festival, i have not yet met a person as crazy about mooncakes as he did. hey! old man! i miss you. :/
the only comfort is that i know he will always be proud of me. or that i am good enough to make him as proud as a father can be.
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