i'm only happy when it rains.

yesterday i dug out the ring he gave me. i am glad that i did not throw it away. i knew i would not, i would keep it forever. afterall he is the only boy who has given me a ring, and he is also the only boy i have ever given a ring to. it is yellowish now, because i used to wear it all the time, i even wore it to shower. i wish i had taken better care of it. but still, i have never been good at keeping accessories, my earrings usually just disappear after they are worn a few times. i am not good at keeping things in general. it is a simple, delicate thingy, it used to be shiver, now it looks old and vintage. i remember us looking through causeway bay that night, because he wanted to find me a ring that fit my finger, as my finger is a bit too thin. i like him as a person. i like the work of his mind. i would still like him if he were bald, chubby or poor, if he were 70 and old. i like the way he reacts to my thinking, the way he makes me laugh or cry on my own. i could be thinking too fast or too far, but this is the pace how life would go, always faster, always farther than we normally think. and suddenly the world is lovesick, i can smell my desperation everywhere i go. i have us imprinted on my mind all the time, no matter where i am at or who i am with. i dress up, i go out, i have fun. but when the world is quiet again love is all i can think about. it's like i walk around with a long tail behind me. but i’d rather think about love, you know. i’d rather have love problems than to have problems career-wise, money-wise, health-wise or family-wise. love distracts me from mundane matters, helps me write and keeps my soul light. jeg er din, min skat.