so i didn't go.

of course it isn't so much a pleasure wasting money on air tickets without actually going to travel. but this morning my stomach started to ache at 6 something and lasted for some hours. it was too alarming. i knew it wouldn't mean well if i go. so i decided not to.

afterall it had ever been easy for me to just go somewhere without thinking too much, especially when i had already got the air tickets. so this time it's simply different. i know it. i feel it. yet it's hard to explain this constant bad feeling which had circled around my head for weeks.

and now the trip is off i am finally relaxed.

i am still tired. not knowing why. my eyes are exhausted. my shoulders are in pain. my chest is, too. maybe i really need this coming 3 days to take a good rest. do something enjoyable. (or finish the readings that i have tried to avoid for weeks and try to do some homework.)