the last five pages.

when we were taking dr. richards' creative writing course 2 years ago, we were told to buy a book titled "the first five pages", i have never read it because it was a tool book for those who wrote fiction, as for me, i wrote poetry.

there are only five pages left till i can finish eat pray love. but i stopped there. somehow i didn't want to know whether liz had found love. it was irrelevant. i felt kind of cruel, like a selfish bitch who cares only about taking what she needs, and drops the rest.

but i have the tendency to not see how things end. i would like to keep the ending open. and the journey is always more important. the medicine man in eat pray love tells liz that there are 7 levels up to heaven, and 7 levels down to hell. he says that heaven and hell are the same, they are both beautiful and lovely. the difference is how one gets there. the 7 levels up are all happy places, and the 7 levels down are all sorrowful. so bingo! it's the journey that matters. we are all going to end up the same, all you can do is to make your journey as happy as possible.

today i think to myself how dear sadness is. so even when i am sad, i am still happy. because my heart is not useless. it gets to feel a lot.

isn't me loud and annoying writing so much all day everyday? (well, not everyday. not during office hours at least.) even when i am not writing here i am still writing somewhere else, on any piece of paper i can find. i don't know what to do if i don't write. everything else will seem like a waste of time if i don't write something. i wish one day i will be good enough to be able to earn a living by simply writing a lot. :/