what were you thinking when the clock struck twelve?

do you celebrate it because the whole world is doing it? is it because it will make you feel like missing out not taking part? or do you truly believe that the beginning of another year means something important, that it is somehow out of 365 days of a year and 3650 days of a decade, the day that marks a turning point?

or do celebrations only make sense because you are with the ones you love? why do you not celebrate everyday then.

i wish this day does not mean so much because i felt awful. i hope it does not determine my fortune for the rest of my year because i have not had a good start, or even if i had one, i was not able to appreciate it as much as i should and with all my heart. i am so glad that i have got my best friend and my family here with me, at that particular moment in which the whole world screamed for a mixture of reasons of joy, i am sorry though, for how my heart feels when i am alone.

festivals stress me out. but anyways, the dreadful december is gone, now a stressful january awaits. i wonder if every month ahead is just going to make me feel the same. i am so tired, and it takes a robot to be ever-sweet-and-positive.