is there such a thing in your life?

something that you wake up every morning hoping that it is right here by your side in a distance that is reachable, and something of a heartfelt desire that is unstoppable?

there are not so many things i want in life, since i sort of think i have already got most of the things i deserve, and the major issue i am concerned with is always more about keeping them than getting more. i have not the time and energy to handle more. i only want what i have to stay mine.

but there are certain things that i simply wake up everyday wanting still and most of them cannot be bought, they are things that i know i cannot ensure that i can have for sure even if i turn exceedingly rich. i am amazed by how the desires linger on. i used to think time helps, you know, since there are obviously things that we think we want, but it turns out that after some time the wanting disappears, and i used to think those certain things i want are among these certain things i think i want.

the fact is i am not even thinking, i have tried my hardest not to think, and then i have also tried my hardest to think as hard as i can, so i may eventually get tired of my own thoughts, thus cease my wanting.

but nothing works, i want us, and it's an everyday thing, and it makes me feel silly at times, because i am feeling too much even when there is not supposed to be much to feel as things stay still, but it goes on, and on, when days are quiet, or noisy, when i am free, or busy, when there are not many people, or too many, when i am sleepy, or insomniac, when i am happy and hyperactive, or pensive and passive.

i am almost sure that this is how juliet must have felt. (yes, i know i am sounding funny.)