i knew it would be mine.

or maybe i was just wishing too hard that even i got convinced that it had to be mine, like how a repeated rumour eventually becomes true. but after like, a few days of excitment, jumping and hopping around in a "i could not wait" kind of mode, i am starting to stress myself out to an extreme extent, i know not if i really wanted it when i thought i wanted it, i sort of saw it as a turning point of my long-stuck life, i got convinced that it had to be a long-haul dream coming to be realised.

but i am scared. how will i be able to manage? a good start means a good end. i am so scared that it will not start perfectly, that i will not be able to be at my best, that i could not give as much as i could offer.

dear life, please don't rush through me. :(