what is a sugar coma?

it is when one's blood sugar gets so low that it can cause him/her to slip into a coma or die. it is the name of one amazing song courtney love wrote after kurt cobain's death. it is what i felt like when people told me how i should start to grow up, forget romance and become realistic, draining the sugar out of my blood and leaving me in a mindless state so immobile.

i cannot do that. at least not now. not when i am in my 20s. it is the time when things have to blossom (or they never will.) i cannot wait. and that's why i am where i am now, having done all that i did.

it looks like i go around all day being pretty, dreamy and fluffy. but i actually work very hard to keep everything i have in place. sometimes i whine about this and that, not having enough time, not being able to meet my friends, not earning enough, being so tired all the time etc., until today i realise how i have already tried my best to balance life out. at least i am still writing, and i have not given up the things that i really want.

i heard that love is only for the lucky and the brave. you can't count on luck that much, but you can always be a little braver than you think you already are.

the days are actually turning bright. and i feel freedom again in my life. i keep smiling to myself everywhere i go. i can indulge myself in my kind of romance now.

nothing is so impossible anymore.

finally got to meet milo last night. we went to central and had some long talks there, as always. anyone would be disturbed by our conversation because it is always completely out of context and it has absolutely no consistency. we are always so eager to speak whatever that jumps in on our minds, maybe it's because we know how difficult it is to find another person just as ridiculous, understanding and inspiring.

we are each other's little window in this realistic life where everybody else lives in. i would love to thank god for all these wonderful people in my life. who is this little cherry to deserve all that much? but please make me a wonderful person, too!

i think it takes a monet to perfect this beautiful sunday.