god bless this mess

maybe it's a very bad time to blog about my romantic thoughts when part of the world is falling apart. earthquakes keep happening. once again i realise how helpless and weak human beings can be when we are confronted by nature.

but when days are peaceful and love is money we always think we are able to conquer just everything out of the entire universe. and weren't people so very proud of themselves not so long ago? usually this is exactly how and when things fall apart without a warning. (or have people ignored the signs?)

i do not like Japan at all, not a bit. and i have promised myself never to visit it until it apologises for its cruel behaviours in WWII. it's an old story. but i hope the people there will be fine. afterall we are talking about lives here, and each life is just as valuable as every other life, be it a japanese or chinese.

now this is going to be completely out of context, but i often think to myself that if i were to have a boyfriend to call mine, i would do to him a million sweet sweet things. well, i think i did do some of those things to some of the boyfriends i had, but i don't think i can do them again now, to this particular boy. i am constantly holding myself back from writting clumsy loveletters or saying whatever sweet sweet lines that have got onto my mind. i keep rejecting and denying my own ideas because they are just so perfectly uncool.

maybe it was a bad idea to befriend Shakespeare or Bronte. :/

but then i always go back to the places where we have been to, which is a bit pathetic and somehow romantic. i keep telling myself that nothing is so bad now. it's not like we're romeo and juliet. and i am 24, kind of a big girl now. some people go on with their lives without falling in love. and i have already had the most romantic days one can possibly imagine, although i am not sure if it was love, it was definitely lovely. well, or i am simply a person too easily amused. *sigh*

anyways, i am waiting in the pacific coffee on hollywood road, milo is late again. (maybe it's going to be for 2 hours this time?) but i love her so much i can't even really bring myself to feel upset. (or we are too used to each other's idea of time - that we have absolutely no idea of time besides its passage.)

i am so afraid of what may happen to this world. why does it seem so likely that 2012 will be the end of the world? :(

god bless this mess, please.

i need my favourite painting tonight. munch's madonna has that magical power to comfort me without making a sound.

sometimes (or most of the time, in terms of my own life), it is only about expressionism.