doha airport

quite often in my life i live in such a dreamy state that i have come to places without realising the steps i have taken. my first trip in europe still doesn't feel very realistic. (although i kept taking pictures to make it feel more real.) and was it me or was it really europe? the time passed in such a high-speed that suddenly i am here. alone in the airport again.

this shock is endless. all i did on the plane was to cry and sleep and cry more, and sleep more. people must have found me strange. how could you be so brokenhearted? for the first time in my life i have hurt someone so badly. and i did it all out of my selfishness. and the worst thing is even if i were given the chance to go back and do it again, i probably would do it anyway. so i guess the destructive part is i don't really regret what i did, though i feel extremely bad about it.

i am scared. i am scared of going back to a life i am not familiar with. i am scared of the damages i have done to his life and mine. when i was on holiday it all felt so far away. i have got used to always having someone by my side. but this time i am ending me up alone. and of course i totally deserve it.

and the stupid rabbit goes insane. because she realises that out of the entire universe, the dragon is the only one she wants. and probably the only one she will ever want. and possibly the only one she will never really have.