why do people murder relationships?

although i pretty much agree that if love doesn't end as you wish and you can't seem to move on, it seems reasonable to start hating your ex-boyfriend a little bit. so you don't, like what's said in 500 days of summer, think only of the good times and make it hard to move on.

to me, moving on is different from letting go. i don't ever want to let go. can't we keep that person and whatever that we had experienced together in life as a part of us forever? can't we smile about all that had happened and still feel happy for having once found someone who was able to stir your stomach and make all those butterflies flap wings? it was a part of my life. i spent my time on it. it is too cruel to dig it out and throw it away.

every boy i loved, or loved me (probably not many,) is considered as one of the angels who god had sent to me. although i, too, as a human being, or worse, as a woman, would hate a bit at the very beginning, for them not having made the efforts to stick around long enough for me to stop aching so much each time we broke up. but my magic to recovery involves 3 days of crying and a new eye-candy. life is too short. if i don't live now i might not be able to live anymore. although some say that true love is worth a lifetime of waiting. that's probably why i still want to get married as a virgin. for that silly little wish i still want to believe in.

but of course it is only me. my way to deal with things isn't applicable to everybody. we have different experiences in life, and not one person can understand completely what the other person is going through in his/her heart on his/her mind. as for me, it's an old story, having seen the death of my dearest troublesome old company. it was too much that it changed a lot of me towards life.

is reality really more important than happiness? one day we will all realize that none of it is ever real, except the feelings you feel. everything lies, or everything can be a lie. i'd rather be happy. if he says he loves me, he at least means it the moment he says it. in that particular frozen period of time.