6700 times of lightning

it has been a while since i last visited LKF, still it used to be a lot more fun there. tonight i realized that Hong Kong Brew House was already closed down. i guess everything changes fast in this city. my city. i wonder if every one of my favourite places will soon disappear.

stormy weather came without notice, or was it me who was too engaged with what i was doing to notice it? and then when i got home i read from Yahoo! news that it has been 6700 times of lightning tonight. at first i wonder if it would be the end of the world. what makes god so angry? but then sincerely speaking it's a little bit too romantic. i wish my lover were here. it must be more than 6700 times now. i hope someone is counting, or something.

on the minibus i suddenly realize how i have been waiting all my life, even though i have been living like i can't wait. my waiting is somehow an endless journey. when i was a little girl i never had to wait, my parents would give me whatever i wanted. their philosophy is simple: parents should give the kids whatever they want when they are still young, as when they grow up, they will have to face a version of life that can be difficult, and by that time the memory of a fulfilled and happy childhood would be useful. indeed, at my most difficult times i would be able to tell myself how i used to have all that i wanted, and i have such strong belief in happiness as i know it surly does exist. i lived it once.

greed is not my thing, except for that extra extra extra caramel saurce on my vanilla latte. as i grow up, a mysterious voice appears inside my head, reminding me to only ask for what i really need, to my parents that voice is called understanding and decency, and to others i think that voice is named dignity.

and back to my story of having to wait so long, and longer still.

as i am very sleepy i have to finish it in short. i know it's all about waiting, although i am impatient and i grab chances and dive into things. but the truth is, there is a piece of cake that i can be the first to taste. but after one creamy bite god decides to freeze it in the fridge.

i am waiting. for things to be bright. for my youth to stop wasting itself. for a boy to know my worth (as more than he would give.)

and now i am super sleepy.