it smells like papa was here.

mom is in the kitchen making curry and roti. my little brother has invited his friends over to have an indian food x barbecue party. a moment ago i was lying half-asleep on my bed, in my perfect fit little black dress. mom has made me hot lemon tea. she turned out the light for me. my elder brother bought the dress with me the summer i got into university. it comes with an adorable bow at the backside on my waist. that summer i was happy. that was the summer in which i almost went to greece alone. papa bought me my first real car that year, besides the red mini automatic jeep he got me when i was 3. it was a white little thingy, i forgot to give it a name, i remember it as JS3242. having a brother was nice, until his wife stole him away, but then they made hugo boy happen, he has been the sunshine of my life since then. i know i will love him till i die, as my own son, probably. this is a perfect moment in my life. i am overjoyed and satisfied. there is nothing bad about working hard, i would work my lungs out even, knowing that i can come home to this simple happiness.

it used to smell like this almost every night when papa was here. he would be watching the 7:30pm news on TV while mom was cooking in the kitchen. he would turn the volume up so loud, i don't know where he got that old habit. sometimes i would pour him a glass of warm water, or helped him look for the remote control. we would go for tea in the chinese restaurant early in the morning, after that we would drive mom to the market, and wait for her in the car, we would then take her home and drive to the sunset by the sea. after the sun was set we went home for dinner. it was a big family back then. we would play UNO after dinner, mom was often confused by the rules, and dad would teach her, playing smart. i always held my papa's hand wherever we went. i remember them warm, strong and big. oh dear lord i love my old man.

i will always remember myself as the apple in my parents' eyes. life has brought me many miseries. it has given me wounds on my heart. but i love it still. i love everyone and everything i have, even my stupidity and silliness, for i am whole, and i am real, my imperfections perfect me.

what a cozy evening i have here. :) nothing can take my love away from me.