i must have done something to deserve this.

maybe i had too much fun.

sometimes when i feel like i really want to give up, i think about the times when i really should have, and then i realize that i cannot just give up. i have come such a long way to where i am now. everytime i thought it could not get worse, it did. and everytime i thought it could not get better, it did, too. and suddenly something happens. something always happens suddenly. and things turn around. from good to bad, and from bad to good again. it takes a certain amount of stupidity to be a girl like me.

i am not perfect. i am emotional at times. departures affect me. i have tried to be brave and independent, or at least hide my fears, but it does not work all the time.