there are plenty of things going on lately, half of them happy, half of them just sad. i wish my period will come tonight, in an hour or so, it has been affecting me for a whole long week already. i thought february would be a short month, why is it so long now? or maybe i will find it short again when my boyfriend is here. oh i can't believe he is coming for my birthday! i have been dreaming of it for how long i do not know, a very long time for sure though.
sometimes i really wonder why people have to be so mean, that when a thing can be solved peacefully and in harmony, i wonder why anyone would rather decide to do it the hard way. i am sure that it does not make anyone feel good hurting people, or does it? how often do you kill a life just because you can? life is supposed to be handled with care, right, yours, mine, even a small ant's life deserves respect.
i miss everyone awfully lot, i feel quite lonely lately, being the latest comer and seemingly the youngest person. i am not good at socializing, indeed, i have no idea how i have made that many friends all my life, but i guess sometimes people just click, and sometimes it doesn't happen that way. i feel that i may lose my friends eventually, for i seldom have time for them, and i feel really bad about that. sometimes i get depressed and wonder why everything has to be so hard-earned, it is really depressing when trying your best is hardly enough. inspire me life, with no harm done, inspire me, please.
but i thought you could survive anywhere as long as you are sincere, hardworking, helpful and nice. i hope i am smart enough, i really hope so. i wish my old man was here, although he might laugh at me for crying over silly little things, he would have patted my hair, and told me to always be farsighted, like he did everyday when i was stressing over my A-level exams, isn't it good to have a dad around, someone strong with a loud voice, whose hands are big and comforting. mom has been sweet as always, but i hate to worry her, as it breaks her heart thinking that i could be happier.
but i thought you could survive anywhere as long as you are sincere, hardworking, helpful and nice. i hope i am smart enough, i really hope so. i wish my old man was here, although he might laugh at me for crying over silly little things, he would have patted my hair, and told me to always be farsighted, like he did everyday when i was stressing over my A-level exams, isn't it good to have a dad around, someone strong with a loud voice, whose hands are big and comforting. mom has been sweet as always, but i hate to worry her, as it breaks her heart thinking that i could be happier.
but one thing i know for sure: when my boy is here, i will be the happiest. i look forward to turning 25. i will have to make it a good year, with all my heart and a whole lot of my soul.
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