spider in my hair

Miro's May 68

i did not know how it happened. but there it was, a spider web in my hair, a million white and sticky threads, like silk or sweet dragon whiskers, except that it comes with something more or less like the bodies of dead insects.

and that was yesterday morning.

it's 4th june again today. why does it have to take so long for wrongs to be righted, and justice to be restored?

they were a bunch of innocent kids, and no matter what happened in between, they died, and died loving their own country. maybe you think that they were a bit aggressive. maybe you reckon that they were not obedient enough. maybe you assume that they were rebellious. maybe you even for some mysterious reasons decided that they were puppets of the enemies.

but imagine they were your children.

and as a matter of fact, THEY WERE YOUR CHILDREN. even a tiger would not eat his son. and what does all that you did and all that you are doing make you?

- - - - - - - - - -

i slept some long hours away, or some long hours slept me away. i cannot wait to go back there, but i may need to wait a decent while.

i envy those who have their lovers nearby. imagine yourself having to wait a year or more to get a kiss. imagine not being able to touch him at all. imagine missing out a major part of his life. but at least he is alive, and i am, too, and eventually we will get to meet. (i hope.) maybe love is unimportant. maybe relationship should not count all that much. maybe it is silly of me to cling to something that i almost cannot afford. but what does it take for you to keep your love? it takes a you and a whole lot of it. if the universe would give me a way i would so treasure it, like the way i have treasured my blood.

i have been trying hard to work things out for everybody. i only hope that this one thing will work itself out for me. maybe i sound a little bit desperate, but it is not like i did not try.

i tried my best to leave it all behind, just that every attempt failed. i told myself that i were not important and it was not like the universe should spin around me to make things whole for this little cherry. who is she anyways. people go on to live without love and they seem fine. and i might as well go on like that. or marry a simple man. live a simple life. forgo anything fanciful.

*sigh* but i was born to yearn for love. if this is the east, juliet is the sun.

and now i conclude that this walk with him is, and will be worth the while.