i have not always been like this.

in my teenage years i used to be mean, self-centered, arrogant and all about me. i was a bit heartless, cold and far from sweet. i walked around with a mind too set, i was determined in believing that if a person did a certain something he/she must be a particular kind of person, and that if a person did a certain something it would only be for one reason. i constructed for myself a world of black and white and thought i knew enough things to go around and judge.

i was spoiled and taking everyone and everything for granted most of the time, until one year my mom got sick and my whole world fell apart. it was on the edge of losing someone extremely special and important that i looked at myself for real for the first time and realised that i needed to change. and then i have worked all the way to how i am now. it's not like i am perfect. but i am fully aware of my flaws, i have kept the habit of reflection and i know how important it is to be constantly fighting my vices. i know that whatever we know, our knowledge is still too limited.

it is easy to be critical, and even easier to criticise. it is too, easy to make fun of people, calling them names and picking on them. one of the easiest ways to humiliate a person is to openly ignore him/her, to not respond at all to his/her questions or pretend that he/she does not exist. ahhh it is all too easy. if you thought those were all but teenage games, you were wrong. some people have never managed to get rid of that nosy noisy lofty teenager.

sometimes i can't help but be mean still. we are all a bit evil at times. no one is going to be perfect, but it is important that we know it when we are being mean. i cannot quite take it when people walk around thinking they are being good and doing good things while they are absolutely being bad and doing bad things to others.

"yeah, i am a freak. but you know what? someday, i might just grow out of that... but you, you will never stop being a jerk." - princess diaries