me and my own small world

i read the same books too many times, watch the same movies too many times, go to the same restaurants too many times, wear the same shoes too many times, visit the same places too many times, speak to the same people too many times, and drink the same drinks too many times.  i repeat myself too many times. 

but that's just me.  i do the same things over and over again.  if i don't get tired i stick with them for life, and if i do i stop them altogether.  i believe that the only way to get rid of a habit/ an obsession is to indulge yourself with it intensively.  too much of anything can make a person sick, and to get well is to get sick first.

lately i am a bit confused about life, (i am always a bit confused.)  i am not sure what to think or feel, and how to behave.  when i feel more and more connected to my inner soul and life purposes, i feel that i am drifting farther and farther away from the outer world and other people.  the best communication i can offer is to be a listener and laugh along, or talk silly.

i am not interested in the things that interest most people, and most of the things that i find interesting interest me alone.  dreams are strange, too many strange places, strangers and strange animals.  this week i have been to a chinese temple in which people worship a horse, venice where the boats float uphill to a secret garden, and an indian village where there are quite a few elephants and a group of ostrich-like-chicken running wild, people there lived in tall triangular tents made of wheat.  last night it was alright, i only dreamt that i fell asleep at work and my boss woke me up and told me to resign because my low efficiency wasted all his money, and then i was at a cemetery with people i hardly knew.

another weekend is coming to its end. i have finally got myself two pairs of new shoes yesterday.   i hope they will last longer than usual. :/ everytime i go buy shoes i am a little ashamed of myself walking in the shops wearing my old and completely worn-out shoes.  but i can't help it.  shopping is annoying unless it happens in a love-at-first-sight kind of way, and when weekends arrive i am too lazy to go anywhere...

i am planning to buy mom big bunches of roses this week though, so i hope i can find a day to go to the flower market after work.