a tough age

i have got a widowed aunt in thailand who is now in her 60s or 70s, whom i have never met. having lost her husband and her son she is now left with no one but 4 kids - her grandchildren. about a month ago her village got flooded and after that she lost all property and became homeless. with a nice neighbor's help she and her kids had been "residing" in a school's classroom, every morning they had to leave when school starts, and could only go back when school is out. (i just realised that) they are now kicked out from the school and will have to be "residing" in a temple tonight.

i am ready to help, even if this helping has to last for years. but being a working girl and the only support of my own family, my resource is limited. i would like to give them a home. the cheapest place they can find to rent is a brick house with a small toilet, costing about HKD300 each month, but the shortcoming of it is that 3 people have once committed suicide in it. however, it is no time to be picky. having a roof is better than being left out on the street.

it breaks my heart simply to imagine how helpless they must be. so here is my petition: let's get them a home.

it is all based on trust, this fundraising, i welcome those who trust me and those who would like to help. it doesn't matter how much you would like to contribute, $1 in hk equals to $4 in thailand. for those who would like to help please contact me through email.

i am only good at writing, so every donor (of any sum of money, even just $1) gets a poem in return, you may tell me what you would like me to write about. or if you have something to be translated from english to chinese or otherwise, i can definitely help.

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now here is my usual meaningless monologue.

being a 20 something is not easy, because it is the crucial period in which all wrongs have to be righted and every decision you make follows and influences you forever.

i think i have made some bad decisions, and i am now suffering from what i have dived into. i wish i can still go along with the go with the flow attitude. reality will never make me carefree, because it is not what reality is like. reality is heavily burdened with every sort of misfortune and helplessness.

yesterday we had a course on contemporary music appreciation. at one point the speaker talked about the romantics, and concluded that the romantics are those who chase after the unattainable. (and be happy about it even though it makes them miserable.)

so true. romance is to go against reality and dive into impossibilities knowing though that it will result in nothing real. but the journey matters. and only the journey matters.

i am a romantic if you go all the way down to my guts. but we have come to a point where how i am and who i am do not matter.