lying on my bed, heavy-headed.

i wonder what has gone so wrong between you and me, you-and-me has exhausted me.

i wish you well, but whatever troubles you have created i cannot help. i think i am cruel, heartless, and not so kind afterall. about a year and a half ago i thought we could keep this family well together, it only ended up that i was left on my own to put it all together. it was hard. so, so difficult. most nights i cried on my way back home alone because it was how i felt, so, so alone.

i lie on my bed, heavy-headed. my heart truly aches, for you and what you are facing, dear but i cannot deal with it at all, i am completely worn out after this long year. i am only able to do what i do and keep what i have. i cannot afford nothing more, or less.

once upon a time you had a family, it was your family. i counted you in. it could have been less hard for everyone if you would commit enough. but you always chose your girlfriend and dogs over us. a home is not a hotel. it is not where you can check in and out casually just as you like. my family means the world to me.

i can only hope that god will guide you onto the right way.