sometimes it makes you feel like banging your head on the wall.

i know that's not exactly what people call sanity, but maybe it is sane to be insane. it is just a feeling that crawls up in you. yep. oh i dreamt of a snail, a big fat sticky one right next to my shoulder, i don't remember if i got it from my naps or the long sleep last night.

i constantly feel that life is unreal. it is all too far from me, whatever i have been through, or felt, they have become some floating pieces on the stream of memories. when i lie on my own bed, which was how i spend this sunday, i feel so distant from everything.

and my memory is not clear. it is all vague somehow. 

sometimes life is more like a painstaking read. you think you can just throw the book away, since there are still too many pages and the story is awfully long, and you have got to the part right before changes are about to take place, and you don't know if changes are good or bad.

but if you throw it away you know you will spend the rest of your life wondering about the ending.

i am scared of things certain and uncertain, particularly of the idea that most things about life are things you pick up on the way.

oh period please come.