quick days, fast pace

october was bad, november has gone, and december has arrived.
once again i am counting down the days. i will soon again be by his side.

my desire to write has not stopped, but i have been writing less and less.
lately i have been confused, and a little upset.
i am struggling between being true to myself and being kind.
i can just stay kind and sweet. it is easier for people to like me when i am sweet.

sometimes i am amazed by how people can get through everything so easily and effortlessly.
and i wonder why i have to work so hard.
lazy people survive still.
they make up all kinds of excuses to get themselves by.

but how i do my work also means how i spend my life.
i have to take good care of every minute.
and how they spend their life is their own business.
what i have to make sure of, is that i cannot let them waste my time.