my boyfriend got me a green dress.

and it fits me perfectly well,

and i love it awfully much.

the ice-cream van

i don't know where this weakness is coming from, it attacks me from all directions and from everywhere. it is merely a flu, or actually, just a sore throat and headache, why am i so affected?

i want to cry any minute now. and the ice cream van is happily singing outside. i can't even cheer myself up with a vanilla ice cream because of this sickness.

maybe i fear. every departure leaves in me some fear. i am afraid of giving my heart out and seeing it crushed. i want to be strong and independent but i have forgotten how.

i love him. for this i am doomed. now that he loves me, i fear, for it gives me something to lose.

life is so tiring. is there a happiness that does not come with fear? where is my courage? i was once famous for it.

this job to me is like a painful relationship.

you keep thinking of leaving, but you go back everyday still because you love it.
there is this commitment, there is this sense of responsibility, there is this thing about sticking with your own choice. thus i carry on.

life is pretty much about going back to each other now.

this longing between us

won't stop.

sometimes i stare at an empty space

and all i can see is his face.

"i dream of you even when i'm awake."

he gave me a doll, a lovely rabbit/bear creature.

i have never hugged a thing so much

other than a human.

he said it is to keep me companied while he is away.

i find us quite special, quite nice,

and in quite a lot of love. :)

the last of cheri

cheri pulled the trigger because he could not find the woman he loved anymore. the most tragic thing is that she was not dead. she was alive, and quite lively, just that she was nothing like the woman he used to know.

he indulged himself in all her blue eyes photographed, listening to recited stories of her youth. and then he put a bullet in his head.

oh dear. and that was the last of cheri.

this book did an amazingly good job as i did not notice how i felt for cheri and lea until the story ended. i guess something about them might have developed in me, that's why i feel so sad now all of a sudden.

scarier than time is the pace of ageing. 

情歸何處

這份相思
不知是要跟我回家，
還是跟他回家，
還是索性把它丟在酒店、機場、
火車站... ...
這是見面的代價。
近近地去了轉深圳，
在寶安機場送別
哭成了淚人。

我以為慢慢就會習慣。

可是相見太難、
相處太容易，
分別就太難。

其實我不怕等。

相思好似巨浪
席捲我的知覺。

近日沒怎麼寫，因為我詞窮了。
我有一種寫不出來的滿足。

我們都找到天使了。:)