i hold on to this life i've found.

today i stepped back and took a look at my life. i should feel a bit happier now. my family, friends and boyfriend love me. i have a nice job, it's about art. i look fine. i am still writing, and my readers are still reading.

i am still breathing. so why do i feel so unhappy from time to time?

i want to ease the stress pressing against the heart of my eyebrows. i wonder if it's what that place in the middle of your eyebrows is called. but in chinese we know that's called "the heart of the eyebrows". and it sounds romantic enough to be taken for granted.

everyday i carry the thought that i want to do something with me, i carry it everywhere i go, i carry it on my mind. but at the end of the day i get home without having done anything.

i am a hopeless dreamer.

everyone who worked at my position before seems to have got nicer jobs now. i wonder if i will eventually become one of them. i want to at least taste everything in the art world.

i can't wait to figure out what my next step is, who i will meet, where i will be.

creative director sounds like a fairly good title, when will i be there? and how?

i am no longer hoping that a prince charming will come to rescue me.