the more i realize that it is not necessary to be everybody's friend, or to spend time on catering people that i am not interested in knowing or being with. i am still nice to everybody, but i am more conscious about how i spend my time and who to spend my time with. i allow myself to be more critical, and sometimes even judgmental, as there is only so little time left everyday.
and the problem is that i sometimes really just need to be alone, to think and feel, read and write, dream and relax, as well as to be away from the outside world. there is too much gossip, and it's hard to disengage, but i really want to, because, i know, from the very bottom of my heart, i don't care about who does what and why, most of the time. these things don't last. and i am more into things that really matter, like the changing of seasons and the turning of stars, how to make life better, make dreams happen or be smarter, brighter etc.
it always feels like i am running out of time.
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