幸福的滋味

我近來變得很深閨，身子很弱、皮膚又很差，上班時總覺頭昏腦脹，下了班只想衝回家去安睡。到底是太累了，也開始為前途擔憂，這樣又過了半年，又是時候為未來打算，尋找方向，重新出發。

長途戀愛其實也不容易，我忙完一天，到午夜了，他才放學回家，幸好都只是6個小時，尚且還負擔得起這份我說早安你說晚安的宿命，忙與累裡亦偷到半點時間一起做功課，其實他也深閨，我們就像兩隻蜘蛛含情脈脈地守在網上，我們都不是很先進的人，我的電腦很慢，慢到不能有兩個頁面同時作業那麼慢，我們都喜用懷舊手機，當全世界都在whatsapp的時候，我們還在死不心息地互傳著逐個收費的短信。不過我繼續相信，人就是要這樣才懂得珍惜，手到拿來的幸福無法令人希罕，花些心思，我就能在有字數限制的短信裡，用最短的字句表達最多的浪漫。

別人說，所謂的真愛就是不斷地愛上同一個人，竭盡所能都無法離得開的關係。如果別人說的是真的，我們就不可能是假的。不過我總無法很確實地知道他怎樣想，我只知道我的估計總有落差，於是我連估都不願估了。但原來這樣是最好的，因為我甚麼都沒要求過也不表現期待，才會知道他為我做的都是自發和發自內心的，而他在不知不覺間已經為我改變了太多。

我是忠心地擁戴等待這回事，因為我知道只要我們願意事情變好，事情總不會一面倒地差，也因為我有過太多太差的經歷，也有過太多太美好的，我總緊記那份能夠偷天換日的堅持。媽媽教得好，她教我們要記著幸福的滋味，在最苦的日子裡，記得自己曾經擁有過甚麼，正因幸福那樣存在過，受點點苦沒有所謂，再者，人生總要齊集陰晴圓缺才算完滿。

我一個人就想起我們倆。

我們感情這麼好。

我都是這兩天才發現

原來我們的感情這麼好。

偶然和朋友提起他

說到我們之間的一些小事

還有我為他做的我以為理所當然的事情

他們都會驚嘆我們的感情這麼好

然後我才意會到

我們在乎對方的程度

應該比我想像得到的還要多了。

雖然思念很磨人

但這樣美好的東西還是值得等。

可以快點見面就好了。

what i like to talk about when i get to talk about things i like to talk about.

so i should well conclude that my period has decided that it should skip september this year. so that's it! after a long week of annoying symtoms i.e. headaches, exhaustion and moodswings, it left without ever having arrived. (i love how the typhoon has distracted me. :D!)

i like talking about my periods, since it seems to ease the pressure and pain a little bit. i also like talking about my unshaved legs, what i want to talk about regarding them is that i now have less and less reasons to have them shaved, firstly it is because of the weather, and secondly it is because of the fact that i have bought some pairs of skinny pants. hahaha! but most importantly, well, i don't need to worry about going out on dates every friday night anymore. that's probably one good thing about long distancing. i also like talking about it when i am missing or wanting someone, because saying the words out loud seems to make me feel like i have done something about it already, and oh well, human beings tend to feel good when they feel like they have done something to a situation, even though when that something done is usually of very little use. but our hearts react, you know, after you have spelled it out, comfort is granted upon hearts.

everynight i miss sleeping in those arms in which my tiny self fits perfectly. every single night it is.

IIover

"llover" in spanish means "to rain" in english. a smile climbed onto my face when i learnt about it, as it cannot be more right - the association between lovers and rainy weather. i am often amused by puns and wordplays, and how languages and cultures cross over one another in different ways.

now what i need are persistance and time to really learn something this time, (thanks to the tyhpoon though today i don't need to go to class!) and then i will have Neruda all to myself. i thought it was romantic learning my boyfriend's language, (but his language was too difficult and my language buddy sort of abandoned me, haha!) thus, now i am learning a language for the poet i dearly adore. (i think it is something one should do when one is still young, i.e. indulging oneself in another world.)

the songwriter lied.

he wrote this song for this girl called delilah, and all these years i thought about how he must be very much in love with her. but last week i saw him talking about it on youtube, it turned out that he only met this girl studying in new york and thought she was pretty and so he wrote a song. that was it. =_____= (oh, lately i love this facial expression.) so my romantic bubbles burst into a thousand pieces. i actually thought it was a love story filled with romeo and juliet special effects. but i could mean every word in it if my boy would just kindly allow me to. my friend has forbidden me to mention my belated period to him again. thus i have to come here and write about it. i am extremely moody because of it. i have been living the past 5 days in a "i can cry any minute" mode and this is just so not how i am supposed to be. :/ my name is cheery! bring me back my cheery cherry! i have been stupid enough to dig my own wounds. i went back to my old blog, the one where i had written for years and finally abandoned 2 years ago. i wonder how i survived those days, i was positive even, when a relationship ended i was brokenhearted, but somehow i managed to thank god even, simply for the fact that beautifully it happened. (why am i rhyming now?) was i ever a real person? sometimes i just can't believe in myself. that girl has love. yes, i am now self-obsessed enough to be amazed by my old self. i am terribly sad. but i can't be sad, at least not so terribly, as my greediest wish is somehow in some magical hours realised. it will be a waste not to make the most joy out of it.

oh, and one day i will have to go to the sahara dessert.

您是我唯一的玫瑰

今天放工為家裡那個只愛玫瑰花的可愛女人去了花墟一趟，當你想到你有大半生的幸福都來自同一個人的時候，就恨不得想把整個宇宙的美好都送給她。

life in a fast-changing city

sometimes it feels like i can hardly keep up. my heels are moving non-stop and i am all worn out. i love hongkong but dear hongkong can you maybe kindly slow down a little? i need all the time in the world to figure this little life out. besides, my perceptions and attitudes on things are like at least 200 years backwards. i must have been born to the wrong age. or that something went wrong in my incarnation.

誰人又相信一世一生這膚淺對白 =___________=

i wonder if that silly thing has arrived yet. i haven't dug a hole deep enough to hide.

我唱得不夠動人 你別皺眉

today i woke up with a giant headache. i think i need to start adding varieties to the people i talk to before i fall asleep, because one thing about dreaming is that, you usually dream of the people you last interact with, or those you last think of, and last night i had a weird dream of a mixture of people that is bugging me a lot now.

oh i am about to have a fever i can foresee.